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05/04/2004: "Geeks will appreciate this..."

A woman whose computer was infected with CWS places her laptop underneath a statue of the blessed Virgin Mary in a desperate attempt to cure it from showing her porn ads. I have stopped just short of this at work when tearing my hair out over some little vermin’s latest attempt to ruin my day. Perhaps we could expedite Bishop O’Brian’s 1000 hours of Community Service by having him perform an exorcism on a few machines at work I am dealing with.

Here's the article.

On the serious side of this subject, I have just spent the weekend trying to clean out numerous infections and ad generating software from a friend’s laptop without total success. I am getting ready to wipe it and reinstall the operating system and software. It started out as a challenge but I have quickly lost the desire to follow the little miscreant’s trail. There is a file that I can’t find that is rewriting the registry entries for a browser hijacker after Norton, Ad Aware, SpyBot, and Hijack This, have detected and quarantined the files and I have hand edited the registry to remove any remnants of them. The reason I have lost patience is because this was all preventable. Her subscription to her virus protection was allowed to expire.

IF YOU ARE ON THIS SITE AND YOU DO NOT HAVE UP TO DATE VIRUS PROTECTION AND A FIREWALL, GET OFF AND DISCONNECT FROM THE INTERNET UNTIL YOU DO! As you can see, I am getting a little pissy about the lack of accountability and shirking of responsibility of a lot of Internet users.

Owning a computer and having the privilege of an Internet connection comes with some responsibility because your machine can be used as a weapon. The Internet is a wonderful tool but will become worthless thanks to the virus writers and spammers and those that enable them.

Microsoft constantly releases patches and security updates for their products. If you are running Microsoft as your operating system, you better be familiar with this website.

http://v4.windowsupdate.microsoft.com/en/default.asp

If you are running XP or 2000, you can set your machine to automatically go out and pick up and install those updates on a daily basis. DO IT! (Check your help file or do a Google search for the specific instructions of how to do this.) If you are running 98, put it on your calendar with a notation to upgrade your software! While you are on this site, you will notice that there is also a link to Microsoft Office updates. Yes, there are security flaws in those products also that need to be updated.

http://office.microsoft.com/OfficeUpdate/default.aspx

In their ongoing war against pirated software, the CD is required to put on Office updates. If you are running pirated software, SPEND THE MONEY TO GET A LEGITIMATE COPY SO THAT YOU CAN UPDATE!

Virus protection is a necessity not a luxury. You buy the initial software and then annually you need to buy a subscription to be eligible for the updates. The ongoing subscription is relatively cheap. Most of the vendors pop up a reminder to renew your subscription two weeks before it expires. When you see that reminder, grab your credit card and do it right away. NO EXCUSES! Most vendors also have programmed in the ability to update your virus definitions automatically. FIND OUT HOW AND SET IT UP.

Firewalls are not a luxury either. There are many good, cheap or free programs out there to protect you and the rest of us from you when you become part of the problem. One of my favorites is Zone Alarm. Zone Labs puts this simple and effective version out there free. You will need to invest a little time to teach it. GET OVER IT, IT COMES WITH THE TERRITORY!

http://www.zonelabs.com/store/content/catalog/products/sku_list_za.jsp?lid=pdb_za1

The paid for versions do a lot more and if you can afford it, I would recommend you go that route. The freebie gives you at least some protection and detection ability.

GET OFF DIAL UP! The most common excuse I hear for not updating machines with security patches and current virus definitions is that it takes too long to down load on dial up. Yes it does, so get off the dial up. Don’t surf the net un-patched or unprotected. You are like a drunk driver to the rest of us.

Pop Up Blockers help you protect you from yourself. A pop up shows up your screen and you click okay without really reading it. You’ve just authorized installation of a spyware program that may start to wreak havoc on your machine. BLOCK THEM! One of the best blockers I have found is free from Google on the Google toolbar. CHOOSE TO NOT INSTALL THE ADVANCED FEATURES, just the toolbar.

http://www.google.com/options/index.html

Scroll down to the Google Toolbar icon. You will get runtime errors on some pages of the Internet since the blocker won’t allow the scripts to run that are embedded in the pages. Like Martha would say, “That’s a good thing.” Happily click not to debug and go on about your merry way.

Thank you for allowing my little screed this morning. I need to try to sleep some more because when I get to work this morning, there will be several thousand emails sitting in the spam trap for me to go through of which at least 50% are infected little gifts from you this morning. Maybe tomorrow you will "MAKE MY DAY" and have followed some of this advice.