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05/12/2004: "An Open Letter to Terrorists"

I know you listen to our insane media and some of our hubris politicians as you have been known to quote them in the past. I’m sure you might actually believe their distorted reality, as you seem prone to the same affliction.

Yesterday you murdered an American civilian whose only crime was that he was an American. This was supposed to terrorize me and show me what a formidable enemy you are. Once again, you have failed. What I saw was five cowards who don’t have the guts to show their faces, heavily armed, overtake a single man who was bound and unable to offer any resistance and murder him. What strength, what bravery, and what courage you exhibited for the entire world to see! With a little more practice, you might work your way up to trying one with one hand free to defend himself. Pity your faces were covered, we missed the glee they must have shown over this tremendous accomplishment. The “god is great” gave us some indication, but there is just nothing quite like a little body language to go with it. The retribution for the Iraqi prisoners was a nice touch but not very believable since this was a rerun of Daniel Perl and others before him.

Our media keeps telling me how sophisticated your group is. I just don’t see any evidence of it myself. So far your attacks have shown that you can synchronize your watches. Good, you can tell time like most kindergartners. Maybe if you’re lucky your cereal boxes may provide you with secret decoder rings for future use. Personally, I think your idiots. You pre-empted the non-stop coverage around the world of the prison scandal in Iraq, which was making us look bad. Timing is everything and quite frankly yours needs some work.

You think Americans are the Great Satan. Fortunately for you, you are wrong again. If we followed your logic (or lack of) that allowed you to justify the murder of Nicholas Berg, the Middle East would cease to exist. He was killed because he was an American. How about we avenge his death with an arsenal of nukes that that merges the Mediterranean Sea with the Red Sea, the Arabian Sea, the Caspian Sea and the Indian Ocean and gives the eastern border of Chad and Libya a coastline? If we were the Great Satan, what few survivors that might be left in your region would be suffering radiation poisoning right now, because it would not be an idle threat. The capability is there but is not used because we cherish life, freedom, and believe in justice. Instead, we sacrifice our own blood to prevent the loss of life of the innocent civilians caught between us. You target innocent civilians. Which one of us is the Great Satan?

You say you do this in the name of your god and that you will be rewarded for your martyrdom. You are commanded to kill the infidels. Tell me, if your god is a god, why does he need the likes of you to fight his battles for him? Could your all-powerful god not smite the infidels with the mere wave of a hand if that was his wish? Either he isn’t very powerful or you are mistaken about his wishes because no serious religion advocates murder. Since you have been wrong on so many other occasions, you had better hope that God is all-forgiving. We, however, are not and will be happy to have our brave soldiers arrange the meeting for you. Bon Voyage!

You slaughtered a human being yesterday and were pleased by it. Some have called you criminals, thugs, barbarians, and animals. I would not defame any of those things by equating you with them. You are pig shit. Excrement, waste products, that just needs to be picked up and put in the proper receptacles. Coffins will do nicely as I wouldn't want to clog the toilet. One by one, you will be hunted down and brought to justice.

“We will not waiver. We will not tire. We will not falter. And we will not fail. Peace and freedom, will prevail.” Words to live by for me and words to die by for you.

Replies: 3 Comments

Yes Sir.
Well said. More people need to say it. More people need to believe it.

joe citizen said @ 05/12/2004 08:43 PM MST

Amen. Unfortunately you've said it all. Nothing left to say, but, plenty left to do.

William said @ 05/13/2004 05:05 AM MST

Bravo. I absolutely adore this website!!! You hit the nail on the head, every time!!! You're a young Andy Rooney with a more refined acerbic wit! Keep it coming.

Beebus said @ 05/14/2004 03:30 AM MST